Couples Therapy

Discouragement in relationships

When it comes to marriage, many of us didn’t have good role models, but we know that we want better.

We want love, respect, intimacy, security, belonging, and more. But we just seem to get in each other’s way. One thing leads to another; and we find ourselves discouraged, shut down, and lacking in hope.

Why can’t two intelligent, caring adults who say they love each other be able to figure this out?

Wrong question

You won’t benefit from beating up either yourself or your spouse. It’s time to act, take the desire for something better, and use it to take some positive steps.

The good news is that you are already doing something just by reading this. Let’s go further.

Be curious

Although it’s important to wonder about how you got to this point in your relationship, it is not the only thing. Also, be curious about what’s different when you are doing better, and be curious about what it will be like when you are successfully developing a loving and deeply rewarding relationship?

What will make it worth your while to keep engaging in the growth?

Be creative

This is where it can get fun! What gifts, talents, skills, and abilities do you have that can promote a great outcome?

Knowing what hasn’t worked can open up a world of possibilities about what may work better. Sometimes what you choose to do will be SO different that it would be considered a 180-degree turnaround.

An offer of understanding and help

I’ve been married 35 years, and my wife will be the first to tell you that they have been 27 of the happiest years of her life!

For those of you who are not good at math, this means we have had some rough years in our marriage. I can relate to the pain and discouragement that many of my couples feel.

The thought is, “If I do the opposite of what I know doesn’t work, will that move us into a better place?”

This is part of the solution-oriented approach that I use with my clients.

How you got to your current unhealthy situation is important information, but I’m not interested in blame. I’m interested in where you want to end up.

What is the vision that you are willing to work toward and sacrifice to achieve? What would feel so rewarding that it keeps you moving forward on the days when you’re tempted to quit?

One last thing

People often think that maintaining a healthy relationship is too much work. I make the case that the opposite is true.

Think of some couples that you know that are struggling, and then think of some couples that are thriving. Which ones seem more tired?

Call me today at (720) 295-2827, and together we will develop a plan to use your courage, curiosity, and creativity to build something amazing.